The Difference Between Being Patient and Wasting Your Time

“Love is patient, love is kind…but please don’t waste my time” Let’s be honest—there’s a difference between being patient with a man and a man wasting your time.When you’re dating someone, you’re taking a chance. In the beginning, people put their best foot forward, you’re often meeting their representative. Some people start off giving 100%, but over time, that number drops. If they can maintain 80-85% of who they presented themselves to be, that’s workable. But if they start at 80% and drop to 60% or lower? That’s not something to hold on to. And if they start off poorly? It’s only going to get worse. Send him back to the streets

The First 90 Days: Probation Period

I always say the first 90 days of dating is like probation. This is the honeymoon phase—when things should be flowing smoothly. If there’s already inconsistency, tension, or signs of disrespect during this time, that’s not something to ignore.

Think about it:

• Why are we already arguing in the first 90 days?
• Why am I questioning your intentions this early?
• Why is there inconsistency when everything should still be fresh?

If things aren’t adding up in the beginning, they won’t magically get better with time. What you see in those first 90 days is often a preview of what’s to come. This is when people should be showing you their best, not giving you reasons to question the relationship. If they can’t hold it together during probation, that’s your sign to move on.

When to Be Patient vs. When You’re Wasting Your Time

Knowing the difference between being patient and wasting your time is key. You can’t afford to confuse giving grace with giving endless chances.Be patient with someone who is showing real effort and consistency. If they’re actively working toward something and taking steps to build a future, that’s worth your patience. Maturity, emotional stability, and a clear sense of direction are also signs that someone is worth investing your time in.On the other hand, you’re wasting your time if they’re making promises without follow-through, giving excuses instead of taking action, or showing a lack of consistency. Potential without progress is just a distraction. If their actions don’t align with their words, they’re not building—they’re stalling. And you can’t build a future on uncertainty and inconsistency.

Potential Isn’t Enough

 It’s easy to get caught up in what could be and ignore what’s happening right now.

Potential is worth being patient for when someone is showing real progress and taking steps toward their goals. If they’re actively building, you’ll see it. Their words and actions will align, and their growth will be visible.But potential becomes a waste of time when it’s all talk with no action. You can’t fall in love with the idea of who they might become while ignoring who they are today. If they’ve been “working on it” for years with no real progress, you’re holding on to a fantasy.

Patience Is an Investment: Don’t Waste It

Patience is about investing in someone who is building, growing, and taking real steps toward a future. When someone shows consistency, emotional stability, and effort, they deserve your patience. But when someone shows inconsistency, makes empty promises, and lives off potential with no action, they’re draining your time and energy.Don’t let potential blind you. Discern the difference between someone worth waiting for and someone who’s just keeping you waiting. Being patient with the wrong person doesn’t lead to growth—it leads to wasted time.

Don’t Confuse Patience with Delaying the Inevitable

At the end of the day, patience is an investment. But just like any investment, if there’s no return, it’s time to walk away. Love is patient, but patience isn’t meant to be wasted on the wrong person.Know when to be patient and when to let go. Because staying too long with someone who’s not growing? That’s not love, that’s a waste of time.