You Sound Like a White Girl…
Growing up in New Orleans, we have our own unique way of speaking, pronouncing words, and expressing ourselves, which is not a bad thing at all. It’s a part of our culture, even though I will never understand why people like hearing us say “Baby”. However, throughout grade school, I often heard the comment, “You sound like a white girl.” Initially, I didn’t understand what it meant. Over time, I realized that speaking “like a white girl” was equated to pronouncing all words correctly, using proper grammar, and avoiding slang.
The first time I heard it, I was taken aback. It wasn’t even from a peer, but from an adult. I remember being in a Popeyes drive-thru with my mom, and she placed her order, and when we pulled up to the window, the worker was surprised, saying, “I thought you was a white lady.” My mom explained that this assumption was made because she spoke properly, which is often associated with whiteness. This revelation made me question why speaking intelligently couldn’t simply be an attribute of any person, regardless of race. As I grew older, I continued to hear comments about how I spoke. People would say, “Kelly speaks really well,” or “She talks like a white girl.” These statements became more and more insulting to me. Why should pronouncing words correctly and speaking intelligently be seen as characteristics of white people? Why couldn’t these be attributes of a black woman?
I recall dating this idiot who, upon meeting me, said, “You sound like a white girl.” I was deeply insulted and he was so giddy. Speaking properly should not be equated with being white. This mindset strips away the intelligence and dignity of black women, perpetuating harmful stereotypes. It’s particularly disheartening when black women accept these comments as compliments. We should NOT take pride in being compared to white women based on our speech. Instead, we should embrace our intelligence and the contributions we make to society as black women. Speaking intelligently is not a proximity to whiteness; it reflects our upbringing and who we are as individuals.
Growing up, if you listened to pop or alternative music, you might have been told “you act like a white girl.” I don’t think so! It means you’ve been exposed to diverse experiences and ideologies, which should be celebrated, not criticized. This harmful narrative contributes to feelings of inadequacy among black women among their peers. I feel strongly that no black woman should ever feel out of place when she is among her peers.
The phrase “you sound like a white girl” is an absolute insult to black women. It’s a shame when black women view this as a compliment. We must start attributing positive characteristics to ourselves, not solely to white women. Being described as “ratchet” or “ghetto” should not be seen as part of our identity. Many black women, including myself, did not grow up in such environments.
I am so grateful for my mom for instilling in me at a young age what it means to take pride in the way I speak. She helped me understand that being told I “sound like a white girl” was an insult. Thanks to her, I never developed a false sense of self or a false belief about who I am. Wanting to be white or sound white has never been a goal of mine. If anything, I want people to see that speaking properly, traveling, listening to jazz, classical music, and alternative music, going to ballets and plays, and enjoying a variety of activities are all things black women can and should enjoy. It’s called being well-rounded.
To those who perpetuate this harmful rhetoric, you sound absolutely STUPID and should think twice about saying such an insulting statement out loud. You should feel equally STUPID if you think that being told that “you sound like a white girl” makes you somehow superior. As black women, we are allowed to enjoy a wide range of interests and activities without our race being questioned. Speaking intelligently is not new or trendy; it is a part of who we are.
Three Ways to Address or Combat This Behavior
1. Educate and Raise Awareness Have open conversations about the harmful impact of these comments. Educate others on the importance of not associating intelligence or proper speech with any race.
2. Celebrate Diversity Encourage and celebrate the diverse ways in which black women express themselves. Highlight the achievements and contributions of black women in various fields to break down stereotypes.
3. Affirm Self-Worth Remind yourself and others that intelligence and proper speech are attributes of a confident person, not tied to any race. Affirm your identity and pride in being a black woman who speaks intelligently.
No black woman should feel out of place among her peers for speaking intelligently and articulately. We belong, we contribute, and we excel in every space we occupy. Period!